Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade

Today’s Mistake: Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade. Nothing quite like cranberry alcopop.

mikes cranbery lemonade

5% alcohol by volume

12 ounce bottle

Price: $2.25

ABQ: 26.66

Mike’s bottles are a prime source of cheesy “bro” aphorisms, little nuggets of junk that sound “extreme” and “edgy” and unintentionally hilarious. One of my favorites has long been their obligatory “underage drinking is bad” tag: “Mike’s is tough, SO IS PRISON. Don’t drink ’til you’re 21.” Talk about alienating the only fanbase you’ve got. Those who drink Mike’s do so because they’re too hammered to care about what they drink, or they’re underage, or they’re from Florida. I mean, that’s about it. That’s still enough to justify Mike’s having 35 varieties and offshoot beverages, to say nothing of the 200 flavors that somehow all taste the same. I’m sad to say that this is merely a regular, 5% Mike’s, not one of the sexy “Harder” versions. At least it’s a cranberry lemonade, which is marginally more interesting.


Rosy pink. Looks a whole lot like grapefruit juice.


In a welcome twist, the cranberry in here is actually pretty tart, at least before you get walloped by the lemonade invasion.


It’s gently carbonated, as an indie soda bottler might say. I think it’s fizzier than a regular lemonade Mike’s.


Oh, the “Mike’s Font.”  A cornerstone of modern society. May it never fade away.


Since I buy these drinks in bulk, I usually get a quarter discount on each bottle. This one was 2.25 after that discount. Too much.

Final Verdict

It tastes damn good. But it’s still a Mike’s. 2 out of a possible 5.