Twisted Tea Original
Today’s Mistake: Twisted Tea Original. A gateway drink if I’ve ever seen one.
5% alcohol by volume
24 ounce can
I’m pretty okay with spending $2.75 for a gigantic can of boozy iced tea. There’s a lot of catastrophe, sorrow, and misery in this shitty world, but at least you can buy a oil can of this crap for less than three bucks. That doesn’t quite make up for genocide, poverty, or jam bands, but it at least alleviates some of our collective pain, and hey, it’s alcohol, and alcohol is fun. It’s especially fun when it doesn’t taste like booze, so long as your definition of fun includes a shit storm hangover the next day. I’ve not had a Twisted Tea in two or three years, but I have vague and haunting recollections of not knowing when to stop drinking it. It’s just so damn quaffable. They are mostly sold in 24 ounce cans, so four or five of these will, in fact, seriously screw you up. But that’s a tomorrow problem!
After much deliberation, I’ve decided that it looks exactly like iced tea. I could make some shit up and say it looks “hazier” or “rustier” than regular iced tea, but then I’d have to jump into oncoming traffic.
It’s every bit as smooth and quaffable as I remember it, but there’s a slight edge that I hadn’t noticed as a wayward, carefree youth. It tastes fine, like an alcoholic iced tea ought to.
Not unlike iced tea that’s been diluted by seltzer water. That’s something people drink, right? It’s actually slightly carbonated, or at least my can is. I don’t remember it being carbonated, but really, it’s so subtle that I wouldn’t notice it unless I were looking.
They’ve had the same can & color scheme for years, and it’s perfectly fine. I see no reason to bitch about it. I would like to see some raised details where the sun pattern fades into the name, but I don’t think they’ll change that just for me.
We’ve been over this, but it’s super cheap. Honestly, there are easier and cheaper ways to get it going, but this one is damn tasty for what it costs.
I like a good hard iced tea. Twisted Tea isn’t my favorite, but it’s also not far behind. 4 out of a possible 5.