Blue Moon

Today’s Mistake: Blue Moon. “Belgian style” wheat ale.

blue_moon

5.4% alcohol by volume

12 ounce bottle

Price: $1.99

ABQ: 32.56

I don’t like it when Europeans bash on Americans any more than the next guy, but when our country is putting out shit like Blue Moon, how can we defend ourselves? Here’s a beer that’s designed specifically to deceive those who’d like to experience something better than Coors Light, to cash in on “Belgian beer.” Much like Shock Top, it’s a shitty beer that tries to sell itself as something finer. There’s nothing wrong with an American witbier, especially when so many of our craft breweries churn out amazing takes. Leave it to MillerCoors to totally jack it all up. That’s not to say people can’t or shouldn’t like Blue Moon. Just don’t get it twisted: this beer is totally made in Colorado (as is Avery White Rascal, which is a good beer). They also go out of their way to hide the fact that it’s made in Golden. In fact, you’ll not see one mention of Coors on the bottle. It’s made by the “Blue Moon Brewing Company.” YAH OKAY.

Color

It sure looks like a witbier! Hazy and slightly orange.

Taste

It’s got all of the elements of a proper witbier: lots of coriander and citrus. But it’s too damn sweet. It tastes like cereal milk.

Mouthfeel

Pleasant enough. A lot more body than you’d find in the average Coors product.

Packaging

The bottle sucks. It even suggest garnishing the glass with an orange slice, which is the dumbest piece of shit beer move in the world (except, perhaps, for the lime in Corona move). Don’t put fruit in your beer, even if it is glorified Coors Light.

Price

It’s not too expensive if you drink at home. But at a bar? They’re going for import pricing on Blue Moon.

Final Verdict

Don’t drink it. Please. Think of your country. 2 out of a possible 5.