Today’s Mistake: Budweiser. The Pale King.

budweiser5% alcohol by volume

12 ounce bottle

Price: $1.60

ABQ: 37.50

When’s the last you actually drank a Budweiser? Not a Bud Light. Not a Bud Light Platinum, or a Bud Light Lime, or even a Bud Ice, but a good old honest Bud? It’s been at least three years, right? Regular Budweiser, or “Bud Heavy” if you’re a jackass, is a beer so completely bland it makes the rest of the shit they make interesting by default. It’s iconic, for sure, and they can still crank out a nice cheesy commercial, but the King of Beers is nobody’s first choice. I’m serious about these commercials. Some of them could give you diabetes:

That commercial aired during a Super Bowl like ten years ago, and I still think about it periodically. I’m all for
“supporting the troops,” but stuff like this is manipulative, opportunistic, and misguided. To their credit, Anheuser-Busch does donate a lot of money to military causes, but if I were a former soldier I’d be pissed off at commercials like those. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Budweiser.


You’re never going to guess what color it is! Oh, did you say yellow? Yeah, it’s yellow. Good guess.


Well, it tastes like I always remembered it: a slice of moldy bread dipped in corn syrup. It’s much sweeter than Bud Light, which doesn’t come as a surprise, and there’s no trace of any flavor more complex than “rice.” Most adjuncts use corn, but Bud goes for the rice.


Thin and watery.


As I said before, iconic label. It’s parodied endlessly, so that’s worth something.


It’s cheap, but I bought a single bottle. Sixers and cases aren’t exactly cheap by adjunct standards.

Final Verdict

I do not like it. SARRY. 1 out of a possible 5.