Bud Light Lime-A-Rita
Today’s Mistake: Bud Light Lime-A-Rita. Because BL Lime wasn’t shitty enough.
24 ounce can
I guarantee the InBev marketing guy that came up with “Lime-A-Rita” got a four hundred thousand dollar raise and access the the super secret Anheuser Busch private jet (I bet it looks like this), the one Carlos “Carlito’s Way” Brito refuses to use because he’s too “humble.” I mean, c’mon, just look at that gleaming, gargantuan can up there. It looks like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. And to think, people all over the world willingly and happily ingest it. And I’m now one of them! Jokes aside, this is a pretty magnificent example of how insane marketing and packaging can get in the hyper-competitive world of sugar laced alcohol drinks. It’s a spinoff of Bud Light Lime, a beer devoid of anything resembling “flavor,” something more akin to a soda than an alcoholic beverage. I once drank twelve Bud Light Limes in three hours, and then started a college essay afterwards. I’m not bragging, by the way. It ended up being a shit essay. BUT! BL Lime is so weak that I still felt okay enough to try it. I will not be doing the same with Lime-A-Rita, because twelve of them would probably kill me, and I can think of roughly 4,509 ways I’d rather die. I’ll stick to just this one, and I’m rather excited, because this will be my first ever can of Lime-A-Rita.
Cloudy and yellow. It almost looks like carbonated coconut milk that’s been left out on the counter for four days. Perhaps there’s a reason it’s consumed from the can.
All of the elements of a proper margarita are there: lime, booze, sweetness, bitterness, even some salt. But it doesn’t add up to much, and tastes less like a margarita and more like something that you make in a blender on your 21st birthday, still unaware of ratios and good ingredients. And mixed with Bud Light.
I don’t drink many margaritas, and I know it’s not supposed to be a straight ‘Rita, but holy hell is this carbonated. It’s like the bubbles are eating the enamel on my teeth and laughing about it all at once.
I do really like the can. Just sort of sums up what this entire website is about. Plus, anytime the ABV is prominently displayed and higher than 7%, I get all giddy.
Two bucks for 24 ounces of strong margarita mix is a fine deal. A fine deal indeed.
It’s pretty bad, at least when compared to most other drinks. But is it worse than say, Four Loko or Blast? No, but it’s also not as strong. Thoroughly mediocre. 2 out of a possible 5.