Smirnoff Ice Strawberry Acai

Today’s Mistake: Smirnoff Ice Strawberry Acai. What have they done to those poor acai berries?

smice acai

4.5% alcohol by volume

24 ounce bottle

Price: $3.59

ABQ: 30.08

I think we can all rest easy now that the “icing” thing has completely withered and died. For a while there, we were inundated with “bros” icing other “bros” and doing totally crazy stuff that was totally not gay in any way shape or form. Or so they’d constantly remind you. If you’re not familiar, this involved hiding a Smirnoff Ice somewhere and forcing one’s bro to accidentally gaze upon it. At that moment, he’d have to drop to one knee and chug it, or risk looking like a punk in front of the other Sigma Chi brothers. Listen, I love a good prank, and I especially love a prank that involves binge drinking. But the icing thing was infuriating and stupid, and I’m glad it’s stopped. This Smirnoff Ice also features acai, a berry that enjoyed a similar period of immense popularity, but for different reasons. From 2009 through 2012, the acai berry was paraded about like a god damn miracle food, chock full of antioxidants and positive ions and a bunch of other vegan bullshit. Luckily, Smirnoff ended the fad when they stuffed a bunch of them in corn syrup and injected booze into concoction.

Color

They couldn’t have made it a little bit red? I know all Smirnoff Ice is clear, and that’s great for brand recognition, but I want my strawberry beverage to look like a barrel of red food dye.

Taste

I’ve had three thousand acai drinks in my life and I still don’t know what it tastes like. Luckily Smirnoff turned the strawberry flavor up to 11, so it doesn’t matter what they taste like. They’re healthy!

Mouthfeel

Slightly carbonated and sugary as all hell.

Packaging

I never liked the Smirnoff Ice bottle, but I must say, it’s clean.

Price

Three fifty for 24 ounces is not a terrible deal. Just wish it were a bit stronger.

Final Verdict

I’m ashamed to say that I like the flavor. 4 out of a possible 5.