Shock Top Honeycrisp Apple Wheat

Today’s Mistake: Shock Top Honeycrisp Apple Wheat. How dare you sully the honeycrisp apple.

shock honecrisp

5.2% alcohol by volume

16 ounce can

Price: $7.29 (4-pack)

ABQ: 45.71

The honeycrisp apple is the crown jewel of the fruit world. I remember when I had my first h-crisp, way the hell back in middle school. It was a revelation: never before had eating an apple felt like a religious experience. They were engineered to be more delicious, juicier, and crunchier than regular old apples. I was used to mealy, dried out junk spheres, and as such, I avoided apples. In the years since, my love for the honeycrisp has waned, just slightly, but I’ll still buy four or five every time I’m at the grocery store. Anyway, our buds at InBev decided to capitalize on the engineered fruit craze and make a beer with honeycrisp apples. That’s right: this is a god damn Shock Top beer made with the almighty h-crisp. Perhaps a decent brewery would do this combination justice, but I am confident that Shock Top will turn this into an unmitigated disaster, a beer so digusting and sugary I’ll develop adult onset diabetes after one sip.

Color

It’s a generic “hard cider” gold. Doesn’t look much like a beer.

Taste

It’s not as sweet as I’d imagined! There’s even a slight tartness that reminds me of a Berliner Weisse. That does not mean it tastes good. I suppose there’s an “apple” thing going on, but I can’t find any honeycrisp in here. It’s almost like a blend of a cider and a wheat beer.

Mouthfeel

Nice and sharp. Probably the best thing going for Shock Top Honeycrisp.

Packaging

I still think my Shock Top/Brian Bosworth comparison is dead-on. Oh, and this can is stupid.

Price

It’s cheap. Seven and change for four tallboys.

Final Verdict

Well, it sucks. Shocker! Thanks for ruining the honeycrisp apple for everyone Budweiser. BASTARDS. 1 out of a possible 5.