Today’s Mistake: Kamenitza. Bulgarian Brew!
4.5% alcohol by volume
16 ounce can
Price: 1.4 leva (about ninety cents)
Holy hell do I live in the wrong country. That beer up there cost less than a dollar. Now, I’ve never been to Bulgaria and it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever go, but damn if I’m not thinking about it right now. My sister, who’s incredibly smart, talented, and worldly, bought me this beer while she was there over the summer, and I’m eternally grateful. I can’t pronounce the name, and I can’t read a single word from the can, but it’s cool. I love Bulgaria already. There’s something on there about 400,000 soccer balls. I think maybe there’s some sort of contest where the winner gets a lifetime supply of soccer balls, which is awesome if you’re Bulgarian, but generally just a freaking hassle if you’re American. So let’s hope I’m not a winner (of the contest, we already know I’m not a winner in the general sense). Something I always enjoy about trying and reviewing foreign beer is the way the cans or bottles are designed. They’re so totally foreign in many ways, but in others, they’re no different from the average can of Coors Light. It’s plastered with soccer balls, much in the same way Coors has ice cold FOOTBALLS and rocky mountains or whatever the hell. See, Bulgaria, we’re not so different! In fact, I bet there are Kamenitza commercials airing right now telling Bulgarians to MAN UP.
The Coors Light comparison continues to work. It looks not unlike a Coors, which is to say it looks not unlike any other shitty macro lager. Yellow.
Well, shit! It’s not bad at all. Pissy, skunky macro taste but with a pleasant pilsner bite. I’d gladly drink gallons of this at 90 cents a pop.
You know what I’m gonna say: airy, crispy, light.
SOCCER BALLS AND COMPUTERS NICE.
I could drink for years in Bulgaria on my peasant wages.
You heard it here first America: Kamenitza is rad as shit. 4 out of a possible 5.