Corona Light

Today’s Mistake: Corona Light, the beer for people who don’t like beer.

corona

4.1% alcohol by volume

12 ounce bottle

Price: $18.99 (12-pack)

ABQ: 31.13

I’m kind of a petty, shitty person, and as such, I’m often consumed with rage when I see people doing things I don’t like. You know, like minding their business, or going about their daily routine, or putting a god damn lime slice in their Corona Light and upending so as to “infuse” the beer inside with lime, as if this were some special, holy ritual. I see it every summer, and I’m reminded anew why I hate it so damn much. Normal people aren’t affected by this. In fact, they probably don’t even notice. How I long to be among their ranks. I’m not really a “beach guy,” but I guarantee I see one or two of these sick Corona drinkers when I make my yearly beach visit. And I can’t promise I won’t throw my sack of Franzia at them in protest. You know who else LOVES Corona Light? Parrotheads, which are just Juggalos with mortgages and 2.5 kids. Watch this video and tell me I’m wrong. Go ahead:

Color

A mighty yellow.

Taste

It’s remarkable how tasteless this beer is. It tastes bad, of course, but also like seltzer. Really skunky seltzer.

Mouthfeel

I cannot stress the seltzer thing enough.

Packaging

Easily identified and subsequently avoided. When will they learn that clear glass is beer’s greatest enemy?

Price

Cheap as dirt, even here in alcohol price-gouging country. It must cost fifty cents a beer down in Texas.

Final Verdict

I would not recommend drinking it, nor would I recommend allowing those around you to drink it. 1 out of a possible 5.