Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita

Today’s Mistake: Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita. The strawberry margarita nobody asked for!

8% alcohol by volume

24 ounce can

Price: $2.09

ABQ: 91.86

Are strawberry margaritas a thing? Part of my problem these days is that my finger is entirely removed from the pulse of shitty drinking. A few years ago, I’d have been on top of strawberry margaritas and kiwi daiquiris, but I’ve simply stopped paying attention. Here’s the second of the three “Ber-Ritas” I bought (yes, that’s right, there is at least one other flavor), and it’s already my favorite, by virtue of existing. See, I like me a strawberry alcopop: they’re rare, they’re red, and they’re reliably shitty. You’ve got to admire ABInBev’s courage here. The regular ‘Rita flavor sort of made sense, as lime features heavily both in a properly made margarita and the inoffensive and thoroughly boring Bud Light Lime. I know they’re trying to cash in on the depressing familiarity of both BL Lime and alcopop, but this strawberry thing makes so little sense that it hurts my brain. And, since I’m going to drink it quickly and with reckless abandon, it will continue to hurt my brain well into tomorrow.

Color

It’s red! Think Hawaiian Punch red, mixed with some seltzer and left outside to die like the worthless waste of a beverage it truly is. It also looks a lot like Tahitian Treat, a fruit punch soda I’d buy for a dollar as child. Tahitian Treat beats the pants off Hawaiian Punch. SHOTS FIRED.

Taste

Wow, so here’s where the whole thing unravels. Immediately after cracking the can open, I poured it over ice, since the can said I ought to and I’m not one to ignore a can, and the odor nearly knocked me over. Impressively artificial strawberry flavor gives way to a tart, soul-crushing lime. The ice, I might add, does not help, although I look forward to the eventual dilution.

Mouthfeel

Lacks the same carbonation as the Lime-A-Rita, but still too bubbly for me. I suppose this is the “Bud Light Lime” part of the operation.

Packaging

Boy are those strawberries perspiring. Why are they so sweaty!? A fine can, just as good as the Lime-A-Rita.

Price

Again, a little more than two dollars for one of these is a good deal. I’d be uncomfortable paying any more. Although I’d still probably do it.

Final Verdict

This drink is ghastly in nearly every conceivable way, but I still like to think of it as the playful kid brother of Lime-A-Rita, the one that tags along behind and makes stupid, corny jokes. He’ll be laughed at today, but may end up being the most successful of the bunch down the road. It’s better than the Lime-A-Rita for one reason: it’s red! 3 out of a possible 5.